Thursday, May 31, 2007
flashbacks in the LC
yesterday, i drove around the middle of new jersey. i drove in my beloved LC, with the kruiser plates, with the windows down, in the heat (which was made almost excruciating when combined with the heat of the engine and the sun beating through the glass). i listened to david bowie. in the cassette player. i had to flip the tape to hear the good songs. that car reminds me of my childhood. we had the same car (in a different color), and then all the successive land cruisers that followed. the FJ60s were always my favorite. i remember taking road trips to massachusetts with the dogs in the back and my grandma trying to protect her hair from the air streaming in the windows. the dog in that picture was absolutely insane, but also neurotic and quirky so she fit in pretty well with us. also yesterday, i went food shopping, alone. i bought cracklin' oat bran (on sale, because it usually costs six dollars). that too reminds me of being a kid on butler blvd. i'm driving the same car my parents used to drive, i'm buying the same cereal, listening to the same music... can this mean...? that thing that they say about turning into your mother, or a combination of your parents, or as i theorize, a combination of your mother and mother-in-law, how much truth do you think there is in that? it's frightening until i realize that if turning into my parents means driving around in a cool car, listening to brilliant music, eating good cereal, drawing, and surfing, then i'm kind of okay with it. as long as i don't pick up the paranoia or excessive-to-the-point-of-humorous alcohol consumption.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
sexy horoscope, weird dreams, and neti pots (ugh)
my horoscope for today >>
Scorpio: Even with the highest of spiritual intentions, you still may not be able to keep your mind off sex today. You may find yourself thinking about things that are usually outside of your comfort zone. Don't think that you will actually realize all your fantasies, but remember there's no harm in enjoying them within the privacy of your own mind.
hahahaha. first of all, this could be my horoscope any/every day. secondly, i was just talking about this the other night.
+ + + + + + + +
so i have been having these very odd and vivid dreams lately. the other night i had a dream that i was pregnant (which i AM NOT), then i had a dream that my favorite neighbors destroyed my camera, and last night i had a dream that i was going to be married, but i had no idea who was to be my groom, and then i realized who it was and tried to flee.
- - - - - - - -
also, i am feeling pretty shitty, which is probably my own fault (haha). my parents keep telling me to use this fucking "neti pot" thing that they're currently obsessed with. just the name bothers me, and i refuse to use it because the idea of pouring salt water (or whatever it is that neti pots contain) into my nostril just freaks me out. plus, i feel like they're peer pressuring me into doing it, except it's not like all the cool kids are doing it, it's like all the nerdiest health nuts are doing it. (because oprah said so)
<< look! look at how weird that is!!
Scorpio: Even with the highest of spiritual intentions, you still may not be able to keep your mind off sex today. You may find yourself thinking about things that are usually outside of your comfort zone. Don't think that you will actually realize all your fantasies, but remember there's no harm in enjoying them within the privacy of your own mind.
hahahaha. first of all, this could be my horoscope any/every day. secondly, i was just talking about this the other night.
+ + + + + + + +
so i have been having these very odd and vivid dreams lately. the other night i had a dream that i was pregnant (which i AM NOT), then i had a dream that my favorite neighbors destroyed my camera, and last night i had a dream that i was going to be married, but i had no idea who was to be my groom, and then i realized who it was and tried to flee.
- - - - - - - -
also, i am feeling pretty shitty, which is probably my own fault (haha). my parents keep telling me to use this fucking "neti pot" thing that they're currently obsessed with. just the name bothers me, and i refuse to use it because the idea of pouring salt water (or whatever it is that neti pots contain) into my nostril just freaks me out. plus, i feel like they're peer pressuring me into doing it, except it's not like all the cool kids are doing it, it's like all the nerdiest health nuts are doing it. (because oprah said so)
<< look! look at how weird that is!!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
photography and the [mild] sacrifice of the present for the future. maybe.
this morning in the shower, as i contemplated a recent roll of film that i took, i was reminded of a conversation that i had with the photo editor of W magazine. haha that was blatant name-dropping. anyway, she said two things that really impressed me. the first was that every picture, no matter the subject, is really a self-portrait of the photographer.
the second was that, despite the fact that it seems accessible to everyone, photography is one of the most difficult art forms, because a photographer must overcome an innate distance between her subject and herself. when you take pictures, you put the camera between yourself and whatever it is you're shooting; you don't directly experience what's going on. this reminded me of bastille day 2006, when i was told by a grumpy german to stop taking pictures and just enjoy the fireworks. one of my favorite things is looking at my pictures and remembering the moment in which they were taken, and the feeling i had. i've said before that my photographs are my memories, and i think that taking pictures is to sacrifice, in a way, a piece of the direct experience in exchange for a tangible, material memory that you can hold in your hands or hang on your wall. this is why it's so upsetting if my photos get lost or ruined- because i'm losing out. if you choose the photo over the immediate experience, and the photo vanishes, you feel completely slighted and foolish.
and then there are those rare, but incredible, cases in which the process of taking pictures is so enjoyable that it doesn't matter how they turn out in the end.
the second was that, despite the fact that it seems accessible to everyone, photography is one of the most difficult art forms, because a photographer must overcome an innate distance between her subject and herself. when you take pictures, you put the camera between yourself and whatever it is you're shooting; you don't directly experience what's going on. this reminded me of bastille day 2006, when i was told by a grumpy german to stop taking pictures and just enjoy the fireworks. one of my favorite things is looking at my pictures and remembering the moment in which they were taken, and the feeling i had. i've said before that my photographs are my memories, and i think that taking pictures is to sacrifice, in a way, a piece of the direct experience in exchange for a tangible, material memory that you can hold in your hands or hang on your wall. this is why it's so upsetting if my photos get lost or ruined- because i'm losing out. if you choose the photo over the immediate experience, and the photo vanishes, you feel completely slighted and foolish.
and then there are those rare, but incredible, cases in which the process of taking pictures is so enjoyable that it doesn't matter how they turn out in the end.
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